Dynablob 2

Originally released in 1997.
Rereleased on WOW/DRT 2003.

Produced by John Wesley Harding

Engineered by many people including David Helberg (#3) Woody Nuss (McCabe’s), Bob Whitfield (#14 and 15)

Tape compilation producer: Bob Whitfield
Executive producer: Martin Hollander
Compilation mastering: Chris von Sneidern

All songs written by John Wesley Harding and published by Plangent Visions Music Ltd. (ASCAP)

This record is dedicated to John Bauldie and Mark Brand.

John Wesley Harding
Jill Olson
Jerry Boxley
Melanie Clarin
John Stewart
Steve Cornell
Chris von Sneidern
Robert Lloyd

All tracks previously unreleased live recordings of otherwise unreleased songs.

Handful Of Sand

Darling, when you sit up and stare all night
I get the feeling that something ain’t right
My heart starts to beat on my drum-tight skin
I just wanna kick it in
I know you start weeping when you think that I’m sleeping
I know you know that you just can’t win
But I’ll try my best
You know Honey I swear I will

Darling, you pretend to sleep but I know it’s a lie
This bed is wet from the tears you cry
I lie there frustrated, don’t know what to do
Sometimes I can’t get through to you
I know you can’t explain what’s giving you pain
And you just can’t contain all your blues
But I’ll try my best
You know that I have sworn I will

So now If you wanna come out and talk about it
I’ll try to understand
If you wanna yell it, scream it, please shout it
And I’ll try to understand
But for now you know I just can’t stand
To see this sand
Slipping out of my hand

Darling, when you just can’t take it anymore
Shout it out, now, tell me what you’re crying for
Don’t let it rage inside, that won’t help you none
Be like staring into the barrel of a loaded gun
I will help you feel more self-assured
And even if it cuts to the core
I’ll try to take it like a man
Yeah, I’ll try my best
Honey I swear I will

So now if you wanna come out and talk about it
I’ll try to understand
If you wanna yell it, scream it, please shout it
And I’ll try to understand
But for now you know I just can’t stand
To see this sand
Slipping out of my hand

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Elvis Has Left The Building

In this house, there are many many mansions
And a tower in desperate need of a spire
And a million little churches for all denominations
Better get good advice, if you’re a first time buyer
The ghosts around here, well, they are big business
They’re union so they only come out at night
But they’ll scare you half to death when you are sleeping
So please remember when you turn out the lights
Please clear off the floor
Your tickets just aren’t valid anymore
Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building

It was just one small step for humanity
But it took him half an hour to cross the floor
And the little girls scream and turn into their mothers
Who got much more respect before the war
Used to be the world would take our cues from one another
Now just one man can tear the world in half
Some idiot’s cracking jokes that he will never understand
About how he hates gays and everybody laughs
Please clear off the floor
That joke just isn’t funny anymore
Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building
Elvis, Elvis has left the building

Aloha Earth, This is Elvis calling
You’ll find me in the big house now
I’m gone but I’ve not forgotten
I’ve joined the order
I’ve taken vows
I didn’t like what I saw down there anyhow

Now everyone wants to see the clocks turned backwards
To when men were men and women cooked their meals
When you could only sing on tv from the waist up,
(But you could do it live)
Well I’m 25 and I don’t know how that feels
So me and my friends we decide to have a party
But the outside world crashes and it gets so unreal
Cos each of us is a fragment with a million little centres
Soon someone will discover the wheel
Please clear off the floor
Your tickets just aren’t valid anymore
Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Hostile Two Party System

Did you vote for the right, did you vote for the left?
You could vote for the blind, did you vote for the deaf?
Did you vote for one, did you vote for zero?
Did you vote for yes, did you vote no?

Did you vote pro-life, did you vote pro-choice?
Did you vote to censor, did you vote for free voice?
Did you vote for a man who cries crocodile tears?
The truth is all those guys just want a career
Dear
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote for Bush, did you vote for Quayle?
Did you know you were voting yourself into jail?
Did you vote for selfish reasons too?
Did you vote for Perot, then the joke’s on you?
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote for Clinton, did you vote for Gore?
Al voted you into the desert war
Bill thinks that stickers on albums is right
Marilyn and Tipper they’re an interchangeable wife
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote with your heart? it didn’t change the facts
You couldn’t tell them apart if you put them back to back
Bill’s better than George, we both know that’s true
But both of them have other interests than you
We know it’s true
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Gentleman’s Dream

Juliet said to the night air
’Wherefore art thou Romeo?’
He was beneath the balcony
Hearing a word he didn’t know
Romeo said to Juliet
What does ’wherefore’ mean?
Juliet said ’why?
We’re only a gentleman’s dream’

Snow White said to Cinders
’The prince is always gone
Fighting wars and inviting whores
To sing him love’s sweet song’
Cinders said to Snow White
’Charming’s only letting off steam
He’s a gentleman
And we’re only a gentleman’s dream’

Amy said to the warden
When I turn on my tv
There’s always someone I recognise
And she’s much better looking than me’
Warden said ’Lolita
You’re a star of the stage and screen
Crime pays
And you’re only a gentleman’s dream’

Carmen said to the Butterfly
’How come every night
I submit to my lover’s will
And walk on to that knife’
Butterfly said ’well don’t you know
You’re a symbol in a scheme
Get a life
You’re only a gentleman’s dream’

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Star Struck Banner

There’s entertainment news on the hotel tv
They run it for 24 hours
Where stars discuss celebrity
And celebrities talk about stars
And who’s having who on so and so’s set
The lifestyles of the rich and useless
From Queen Julia down to King Kong
They got everybody singing that song
But everybody’s got it wrong

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

I know that woman and she can’t act
And I know who bought her breasts
Once she wanted to get to grips with me
Now she can’t get me off her chest
I saw the photos of their wedding day
Now she’s another gay divorcee
Well, they can blame it on the media but I’m not buying
All their crocodile tears or their wolf crying
If you get it and you don’t want it
Then you’re not trying

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

I read the papers, looking for the news
All I see is excuses for irrelevance
If you thought no-one was dying then you’d be excused
It’s an insult to the unintelligent
(I burned bright for ten minutes one night
With a girl who had a bit part in ... who cares?
But my hard work failed when she checked my sales
And threw me down the stairs)

Me, I’m just an armchair outlaw
Trying to make ends meet
But when I try a little psycho maths
Well it knocks me off my feet
I’ve heard there’s no Gods left anymore
So what do we wanna make these new ones for?
We’ll just say our prayers like we know we should
Get on our knees and pray to Holywood
But it ain’t gonna do us no good

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

A Fan Speaks/Famous Man

I met Ray Davies in a Danish airport
Turned out to be a real nice guy
He said "Keep writing your songs, man
As long as you can"
And I think that was good advice
But actually he didn’t quite say that
I added that word "man"
I’m just following his good words
But of course I’m a very big fan
And I was just trying to make this thing scan

I met many a famous person
I’m not gonna drop any names
Sure, I did mention Ray
When I started to play
But that’s cos he is a credit to fame
Unlike a few I could mention
Who actually quite freaked me out
They treated me like I was one of those guys
Who carries a small gun about

So congratulations to those of you
Who feel the need to congratulate your heroes
It may be tense for both of you
But I’m sure they appreciate the gesture
But commiserations to souls that are lost
Who feel that murder is a way to get their love across
Great god above keep the people we love
From those merely seeking attention

Yes, I know what it’s like to be bothered
And I know what it’s like to be tired
But you gotta hide
In some kinda disguise
To be famous and yet be walked by
So, stars, watch your manners around me
You don’t have to talk to me long
I may not pull a gun out on you
But I might write you into this song

So, congratulations to those of you
Who feel the need to congratulate your heroes
If someone means a lot to you
It surely rates a mention
But commiserations to souls that are lost
Who feel that killing is a way to get their love across
Great God above, keep the stars that we love
From those merely seeking attention

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Skyscrapers of Memphis

They say that the dead live forever
And round here well they probably do
If you stand by the gates outside Graceland
You can watch all the dead coming through
It’s Necropolis and welcome to it
It’s an archaeological find
They’ll be digging up this town forever
They’ll be digging up this empty mine

The Indians stand on the scaffold
They’ve taken the Egyptians place
The Pharaohs and the politicians
Are planning their perfect escape
So they build a memorial tower
Like the ancient texts said that they would
But stories aren’t told by the victims
And that’s why this story’s so good

Have you seen the skyscrapers in Memphis
Do you see how they rise like the sun
And the statues they look just like spacemen
Looking down on everyone
And there’s art by the yard in the hallways
And our houses are made out of slime
But the skyscrapers almost touch heaven
Did we escape from the mud this time?

So look at the bar-chart skyline
And look at the graph on the wall
But don’t you ignore the byline
When the headline says "Empire Falls"
The buildings get stranger and taller
Til we see that Sphinx up on Mars
So prepare your most pertinent questions
But please don’t expect any answers

One last look round the museum
The one where the bullets still fly
But don’t blink if you wish to see them
Puncture the mummy’s good eye
As the lift hits the five figure numbers
The relics of ages long gone
The tomb of the unknown protest singer
The computer of King Tutankhamun

Have you seen the skyscrapers in Memphis
Do you see how they rise like the sun
And the statues they look just like spacemen
Looking down on everyone
And there’s art by the yard in the hallways
And our houses are made out of slime
But the skyscrapers they almost touch heaven
Did we escape from the mud this time?

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

The Brain of Britain

The Brain of Britain sits in The Tower of London
Protected by the ravens
The prime-minister and the cabinet queue up to consult it
On urgent matters of state
And it sits suspended in fluid
Attached to ten electrodes
It’s a scene straight out of Star Wars or Star Trek

The Brain of Britain masterminds the nation
From this curious vantage point
It’s an oracle, it’s a magic eight-ball
That can give out just three answers
(And here they are....)
It’s the best kept secret of all
The politicians are pawns to the power
Of a prime piece of meat called
The Brain of Britain

The Brain of Britain was born into this limbo
It knows no other existence
Its consciousness floats like an island
Communicating only by pulse
The Queen swears allegiance to the brain
But the future king wants to kick it
Through the streets of London like a football
And that means trouble

The Brain of Britain has no Wizard of Oz
Pulling the protein strings
Science can’t explain the SuperBrain away
And that’s the terrifying thing
Cos The Brain can’t see the world
It can’t see the big picture
Just a colour-by-numbers before the next election

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

When Dreams Come True

Nice girls are writing in journals
Things they wish they’d done
And all their bad sisters are walking high wires
Counting the days in a month
The awful truth doesn’t bear thinking
Nor does the half-baked lie
They get their hopes dirty once in a while
Wash them and hang them to dry
Everyone’s down except for the clowns
And Noah don’t know where to go
It’s hell up in heaven, there’s nothing much here
And all the real men are below

What happens when dreams come true?
Will we know what to do
When our dreams come true?

So a saviour rolls in past the big sign
That says "Strangers - Please Turn Round"
The men tie him up to a feeding post
And take his credentials down
The sun beats rays on our salad days
His lips get parched and dry
The girls bring him drink with a giggle and a wink
And his moment of glory expires

What happens when dreams come true?
Will we know what to do
When our dreams come true?

Mr.Sandman can’t believe it
He thought he gave them what they needed
You couldn’t get no higher
Than a handsome dark Messiah
But he’s got one more trick up his sleeve,
Before he gives up once again

A Siren goes off as she walks in
As the cowboy lies dying in the dust
She walks through the room where the gentlemen gather
Surrounded by debris and rust
She smoulders and steams, straight out of their dreams
But no-one will talk to her first
Big words are just words
They’re small and absurd
She leaves and we all die of thirst

What happens when dreams come true?
Will we know what to do
When our dreams come true?

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

No More

Feel free to leave the tap on my phone
When I hear that click I know I’m not alone
Continue to read through all of my mail
My private life is up for sale
And I can’t tell bad from good no more

I have been up where the devil don’t go
And I have been down to the depths of below
And here is the book that I can’t put aside
A story how I can’t hide
That I can’t tell up from down no more
No more No More
No More

The magic has failed, the moment has gone
It won’t reappear at the wave of a wand
We walked a road that was paved with regret
And we ain’t been nothing yet
And I can’t tell you from me no more
No more No more
No More

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

When All The Bad Things In Your Life Turn To Worth It

Those resourceful Romeos have all revealed
You’re the Juliet who couldn’t be genteel
All the parents looked askance with much displeasure
As you dared to dance off with their little treasures
And the teachers who preached anguish and abstention
Treated you with distant condescension
Patronised your youthful indignation
With their idiotic indoctrination
Then gave you bad grades just for being clever
And you’re qualified to be in debt for ever
And you’ll wonder what you did
And you’ll think you don’t deserve it
When the bad things, bad things
When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it

All the candidates who claim to know your fears
Shit silence like it’s verbal diarrhoea
Imply that your suggestions are so tired
Like they aspired to something higher
They gonna sack you when you give them the wrong answers
Or for failing to respond to his advances
And you’re faced with a senator’s enquiry
Sequestering your private life in diaries
Those wretched Romeos now politicians
Telling all the truth but with omissions
And you’ll think that you’ve been blessed
And you thought that you were cursed
When all the bad things, bad things
When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it

The pages fly, the calendar gets thinner
Springs turns into summer into winter
Preachers will illuminate their candles
On Romeos with trousers round their ankles

The politicians surrender to indictment
The teachers sacked for lack of excitement
But these are not the reasons you endure
Revenge could never please a heart so pure
You thought your reward would be in heaven
Or a day job at the 7-11
While everyone around you ran for cover
You found a secret, now your name is love
And you’ll wonder what you did
And you’ll think you don’t deserve it
When all the bad things, bad things
When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it
When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Election Night/You Will Be Cured

I met you on election night
As we cried over our beers
Nothing you could do would cheer me up
We broke up later that year
How come you and I aren’t winners?
Why weren’t we born the other side?
And it’s raining
It’s raining
On Election Night

You fight, you fight and nothing changes
And when it does the payback’s worse
We arrived here in limo
We drove home in a hearse
And we are none the wiser
I guess that we’re just not so bright
So I’ll see you
Yes I’ll see you
Next Election Night

The balloons look so deflated
As they burst and float on down
It’s been 4 years that we’ve waited
For those balloons to hit the ground
Looks like you backed a real loser
Who thinks that life is black and white
But he’ll be back again
We’ll be back again
Next Election Night


Sometimes it seems like no-one listens
Sometimes it seems like no-one cares
And if there’s really someone up there
He’s ignoring all your prayers
You’ve had more than your share
But I know that you’ll endure
You will be cured

If the doctors finally realise
That their prescriptions have run dry
And the politicians have decided
Where their special interests lie
They won’t look you in the eye
In their attempt to reassure
But you will be cured

When our night is dark and empty
And we’re mourning for the past
It’s a momentary temptation
That was never made to last
I don’t know when the votes are cast
But of one thing I am sure
You will be cured

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Robert Frost Rag

The east coast is a woman
The mid-west is a man
And the west coast is the baby
They will never understand
And the south is where it
Wants to be
And America is hard to see

California’s on the left
And Maine is on the right
Santa Fe stays up all day
And Chicago goes all night
Seattle’s full of coffee
Boston’s full of beans
And America is hard to see

First they saw it offshore
Then they took pictures from the moon
They haven’t drawn it lifesize
But it’s gonna happen soon
And you could watch ten years
Of Court Tv
To know
America is hard to see

And I sing this from my vantage point
Up here in the stars
And all I see is empty spaces
And cities full of cars
I’d change it all but
It’s not up to me
Cos America is hard to see

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

I Just Wanna Talk

I don’t mind if you finish my sentences for me
Interrupt anytime, that’s ok too
If the alternative’s nothing, alright then ignore me
But I just wanna talk with you

Men and women look good with no clothes on
To a puritan, everything’s crude
But nothing’s nuder than language in union
And I just wanna talk with you

Forget the gossip, the rumour, the lies and the chatter
One day we’ll say something true
None of the rest will be used as evidence against us
And I just wanna talk to you
I just wanna talk......

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

$55

I’m looking for those old familiar faces
In the places I left behind
All the Townsons, Barnes and Staces
And some good old friends of mine
Because everyone is someone
That I seem to recognize
Must be the old familiar faces
In their eyes

I’m walking down these streets that have no signposts
In a language that I know
And I never will belong here
And it’s clear that one day I’ll go
But when I turn the corner
There’s another memory
Why don’t those old familiar faces
Let me be

I used to live a life without a present
And no need to go back when
But now I see the truth so clearly
And I want it her back again
She hosts the ghosts of people
In the shadows all around
Until the old familiar faces
Fill this town

Everyday I feel the sun shine stronger
On the dark side of my heart
And people look like strangers now
That I can’t tell apart
So I smile and nod politely
Like they’re friends that I once knew
I’ve found those old familiar faces
In you

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)