Dynablob 2

Originally released in 1997.
Rereleased on WOW/DRT 2003.

Produced by John Wesley Harding

Engineered by many people including David Helberg (#3) Woody Nuss (McCabe’s), Bob Whitfield (#14 and 15)

Tape compilation producer: Bob Whitfield
Executive producer: Martin Hollander
Compilation mastering: Chris von Sneidern

All songs written by John Wesley Harding and published by Plangent Visions Music Ltd. (ASCAP)

This record is dedicated to John Bauldie and Mark Brand.

John Wesley Harding
Jill Olson
Jerry Boxley
Melanie Clarin
John Stewart
Steve Cornell
Chris von Sneidern
Robert Lloyd

All tracks previously unreleased live recordings of otherwise unreleased songs.

Handful Of Sand

Darling, when you sit up and stare all night
I get the feeling that something ain’t right
My heart starts to beat on my drum-tight skin
I just wanna kick it in
I know you start weeping when you think that I’m sleeping
I know you know that you just can’t win
But I’ll try my best
You know Honey I swear I will

Darling, you pretend to sleep but I know it’s a lie
This bed is wet from the tears you cry
I lie there frustrated, don’t know what to do
Sometimes I can’t get through to you
I know you can’t explain what’s giving you pain
And you just can’t contain all your blues
But I’ll try my best
You know that I have sworn I will

So now If you wanna come out and talk about it
I’ll try to understand
If you wanna yell it, scream it, please shout it
And I’ll try to understand
But for now you know I just can’t stand
To see this sand
Slipping out of my hand

Darling, when you just can’t take it anymore
Shout it out, now, tell me what you’re crying for
Don’t let it rage inside, that won’t help you none
Be like staring into the barrel of a loaded gun
I will help you feel more self-assured
And even if it cuts to the core
I’ll try to take it like a man
Yeah, I’ll try my best
Honey I swear I will

So now if you wanna come out and talk about it
I’ll try to understand
If you wanna yell it, scream it, please shout it
And I’ll try to understand
But for now you know I just can’t stand
To see this sand
Slipping out of my hand

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Elvis Has Left The Building

In this house, there are many many mansions And a tower in desperate need of a spire And a million little churches for all denominations Better get good advice, if you’re a first time buyer The ghosts around here, well, they are big business They’re union so they only come out at night But they’ll scare you half to death when you are sleeping So please remember when you turn out the lights Please clear off the floor Your tickets just aren’t valid anymore Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building It was just one small step for humanity But it took him half an hour to cross the floor And the little girls scream and turn into their mothers Who got much more respect before the war Used to be the world would take our cues from one another Now just one man can tear the world in half Some idiot’s cracking jokes that he will never understand About how he hates gays and everybody laughs Please clear off the floor That joke just isn’t funny anymore Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building Elvis, Elvis has left the building Aloha Earth, This is Elvis calling You’ll find me in the big house now I’m gone but I’ve not forgotten I’ve joined the order I’ve taken vows I didn’t like what I saw down there anyhow Now everyone wants to see the clocks turned backwards To when men were men and women cooked their meals When you could only sing on TV from the waist up, (But you could do it live) Well I’m 25 and I don’t know how that feels So me and my friends we decide to have a party But the outside world crashes and it gets so unreal Cos each of us is a fragment with a million little centres Soon someone will discover the wheel Please clear off the floor Your tickets just aren’t valid anymore Cos Elvis, Elvis has left the building

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Hostile Two Party System

Did you vote for the right, did you vote for the left?
You could vote for the blind, did you vote for the deaf?
Did you vote for one, did you vote for zero?
Did you vote for yes, did you vote no?

Did you vote pro-life, did you vote pro-choice?
Did you vote to censor, did you vote for free voice?
Did you vote for a man who cries crocodile tears?
The truth is all those guys just want a career
Dear
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote for Bush, did you vote for Quayle?
Did you know you were voting yourself into jail?
Did you vote for selfish reasons too?
Did you vote for Perot, then the joke’s on you?
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote for Clinton, did you vote for Gore?
Al voted you into the desert war
Bill thinks that stickers on albums is right
Marilyn and Tipper they’re an interchangeable wife
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Did you vote with your heart? it didn’t change the facts
You couldn’t tell them apart if you put them back to back
Bill’s better than George, we both know that’s true
But both of them have other interests than you
We know it’s true
Politics is not real wisdom
It’s a hostile two party system

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Gentleman’s Dream

Juliet said to the night air ’Wherefore art thou Romeo?’ He was beneath the balcony Hearing a word he didn’t know Romeo said to Juliet What does ’wherefore’ mean? Juliet said ’why? We’re only a gentleman’s dream’ Snow White said to Cinders ’The prince is always gone Fighting wars and inviting whores To sing him love’s sweet song’ Cinders said to Snow White ’Charming’s only letting off steam He’s a gentleman And we’re only a gentleman’s dream’ Amy said to the warden When I turn on my TV There’s always someone I recognise And she’s much better looking than me’ Warden said ’Lolita You’re a star of the stage and screen Crime pays And you’re only a gentleman’s dream’ Carmen said to the Butterfly ’How come every night I submit to my lover’s will And walk on to that knife’ Butterfly said ’well don’t you know You’re a symbol in a scheme Get a life You’re only a gentleman’s dream’

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Star Struck Banner

There’s entertainment news on the hotel tv
They run it for 24 hours
Where stars discuss celebrity
And celebrities talk about stars
And who’s having who on so and so’s set
The lifestyles of the rich and useless
From Queen Julia down to King Kong
They got everybody singing that song
But everybody’s got it wrong

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

I know that woman and she can’t act
And I know who bought her breasts
Once she wanted to get to grips with me
Now she can’t get me off her chest
I saw the photos of their wedding day
Now she’s another gay divorcee
Well, they can blame it on the media but I’m not buying
All their crocodile tears or their wolf crying
If you get it and you don’t want it
Then you’re not trying

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

I read the papers, looking for the news
All I see is excuses for irrelevance
If you thought no-one was dying then you’d be excused
It’s an insult to the unintelligent
(I burned bright for ten minutes one night
With a girl who had a bit part in ... who cares?
But my hard work failed when she checked my sales
And threw me down the stairs)

Me, I’m just an armchair outlaw
Trying to make ends meet
But when I try a little psycho maths
Well it knocks me off my feet
I’ve heard there’s no Gods left anymore
So what do we wanna make these new ones for?
We’ll just say our prayers like we know we should
Get on our knees and pray to Holywood
But it ain’t gonna do us no good

It makes me stutter, makes me stammer
So let’s fly it high
The Star-Struck Banner
Here’s how it works and here’s a spanner
Stick It In!

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

A Fan Speaks/Famous Man

I met Ray Davies in a Danish airport
Turned out to be a real nice guy
He said "Keep writing your songs, man
As long as you can"
And I think that was good advice
But actually he didn’t quite say that
I added that word "man"
I’m just following his good words
But of course I’m a very big fan
And I was just trying to make this thing scan

I met many a famous person
I’m not gonna drop any names
Sure, I did mention Ray
When I started to play
But that’s cos he is a credit to fame
Unlike a few I could mention
Who actually quite freaked me out
They treated me like I was one of those guys
Who carries a small gun about

So congratulations to those of you
Who feel the need to congratulate your heroes
It may be tense for both of you
But I’m sure they appreciate the gesture
But commiserations to souls that are lost
Who feel that murder is a way to get their love across
Great god above keep the people we love
From those merely seeking attention

Yes, I know what it’s like to be bothered
And I know what it’s like to be tired
But you gotta hide
In some kinda disguise
To be famous and yet be walked by
So, stars, watch your manners around me
You don’t have to talk to me long
I may not pull a gun out on you
But I might write you into this song

So, congratulations to those of you
Who feel the need to congratulate your heroes
If someone means a lot to you
It surely rates a mention
But commiserations to souls that are lost
Who feel that killing is a way to get their love across
Great God above, keep the stars that we love
From those merely seeking attention

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Skyscrapers of Memphis

They say that the dead live forever And round here well they probably do If you stand by the gates outside Graceland You can watch all the dead coming through It’s Necropolis and welcome to it It’s an archaeological find They’ll be digging up this town forever They’ll be digging up this empty mine The Indians stand on the scaffold They’ve taken the Egyptians place The Pharaohs and the politicians Are planning their perfect escape So they build a memorial tower Like the ancient texts said that they would But stories aren’t told by the victims And that’s why this story’s so good Have you seen the skyscrapers in Memphis Do you see how they rise like the sun And the statues they look just like spacemen Looking down on everyone And there’s art by the yard in the hallways And our houses are made out of slime But the skyscrapers almost touch heaven Did we escape from the mud this time? So look at the bar-chart skyline And look at the graph on the wall But don’t you ignore the byline When the headline says "Empire Falls" The buildings get stranger and taller 'Til we see that Sphinx up on Mars So prepare your most pertinent questions But please don’t expect any answers One last look round the museum The one where the bullets still fly But don’t blink if you wish to see them Puncture the mummy’s good eye As the lift hits the five figure numbers The relics of ages long gone The tomb of the unknown protest singer The computer of King Tutankhamun Have you seen the skyscrapers in Memphis Do you see how they rise like the sun And the statues they look just like spacemen Looking down on everyone And there’s art by the yard in the hallways And our houses are made out of slime But the skyscrapers they almost touch heaven Did we escape from the mud this time?

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

The Brain of Britain

The Brain of Britain sits in The Tower of London
Protected by the ravens
The prime-minister and the cabinet queue up to consult it
On urgent matters of state
And it sits suspended in fluid
Attached to ten electrodes
It’s a scene straight out of Star Wars or Star Trek

The Brain of Britain masterminds the nation
From this curious vantage point
It’s an oracle, it’s a magic eight-ball
That can give out just three answers
(And here they are....)
It’s the best kept secret of all
The politicians are pawns to the power
Of a prime piece of meat called
The Brain of Britain

The Brain of Britain was born into this limbo
It knows no other existence
Its consciousness floats like an island
Communicating only by pulse
The Queen swears allegiance to the brain
But the future king wants to kick it
Through the streets of London like a football
And that means trouble

The Brain of Britain has no Wizard of Oz
Pulling the protein strings
Science can’t explain the SuperBrain away
And that’s the terrifying thing
Cos The Brain can’t see the world
It can’t see the big picture
Just a colour-by-numbers before the next election

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

When Dreams Come True

Nice girls are writing in journals Things they wish they’d done And all their bad sisters are walking high wires Counting the days in a month The awful truth doesn’t bear thinking Nor does the half-baked lie They get their hopes dirty once in a while Wash them and hang them to dry Everyone’s down except for the clowns And Noah don’t know where to go It’s hell up in heaven, there’s nothing much here And all the real men are below What happens when dreams come true? Will we know what to do When our dreams come true? So a saviour rolls in past the big sign That says "Strangers - Please Turn Round" The men tie him up to a feeding post And take his credentials down The sun beats rays on our salad days His lips get parched and dry The girls bring him drink with a giggle and a wink And his moment of glory expires What happens when dreams come true? Will we know what to do When our dreams come true? Mr. Sandman can’t believe it He thought he gave them what they needed You couldn’t get no higher Than a handsome dark Messiah But he’s got one more trick up his sleeve, Before he gives up once again A Siren goes off as she walks in As the cowboy lies dying in the dust She walks through the room where the gentlemen gather Surrounded by debris and rust She smoulders and steams, straight out of their dreams But no-one will talk to her first Big words are just words They’re small and absurd She leaves and we all die of thirst What happens when dreams come true? Will we know what to do When our dreams come true?

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

No More

Feel free to leave the tap on my phone
When I hear that click I know I’m not alone
Continue to read through all of my mail
My private life is up for sale
And I can’t tell bad from good no more

I have been up where the devil don’t go
And I have been down to the depths of below
And here is the book that I can’t put aside
A story how I can’t hide
That I can’t tell up from down no more
No more No More
No More

The magic has failed, the moment has gone
It won’t reappear at the wave of a wand
We walked a road that was paved with regret
And we ain’t been nothing yet
And I can’t tell you from me no more
No more No more
No More

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

When All The Bad Things In Your Life Turn To Worth It

Those resourceful Romeos have all revealed You’re the Juliet who couldn’t be genteel All the parents looked askance with much displeasure As you dared to dance off with their little treasures And the teachers who preached anguish and abstention Treated you with distant condescension Patronised your youthful indignation With their idiotic indoctrination Then gave you bad grades just for being clever And you’re qualified to be in debt for ever And you’ll wonder what you did And you’ll think you don’t deserve it When the bad things, bad things When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it All the candidates who claim to know your fears Shit silence like it’s verbal diarrhea Imply that your suggestions are so tired Like they aspired to something higher They gonna sack you when you give them the wrong answers Or for failing to respond to his advances And you’re faced with a senator’s enquiry Sequestering your private life in diaries Those wretched Romeos now politicians Telling all the truth but with omissions And you’ll think that you’ve been blessed And you thought that you were cursed When all the bad things, bad things When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it The pages fly, the calendar gets thinner Springs turns into summer into winter Preachers will illuminate their candles On Romeos with trousers round their ankles The politicians surrender to indictment The teachers sacked for lack of excitement But these are not the reasons you endure Revenge could never please a heart so pure You thought your reward would be in heaven Or a day job at the 7-11 While everyone around you ran for cover You found a secret, now your name is love And you’ll wonder what you did And you’ll think you don’t deserve it When all the bad things, bad things When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it When all the bad things in your life turn to worth it

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Election Night/You Will Be Cured

I met you on election night
As we cried over our beers
Nothing you could do would cheer me up
We broke up later that year
How come you and I aren’t winners?
Why weren’t we born the other side?
And it’s raining
It’s raining
On Election Night

You fight, you fight and nothing changes
And when it does the payback’s worse
We arrived here in limo
We drove home in a hearse
And we are none the wiser
I guess that we’re just not so bright
So I’ll see you
Yes I’ll see you
Next Election Night

The balloons look so deflated
As they burst and float on down
It’s been 4 years that we’ve waited
For those balloons to hit the ground
Looks like you backed a real loser
Who thinks that life is black and white
But he’ll be back again
We’ll be back again
Next Election Night


Sometimes it seems like no-one listens
Sometimes it seems like no-one cares
And if there’s really someone up there
He’s ignoring all your prayers
You’ve had more than your share
But I know that you’ll endure
You will be cured

If the doctors finally realise
That their prescriptions have run dry
And the politicians have decided
Where their special interests lie
They won’t look you in the eye
In their attempt to reassure
But you will be cured

When our night is dark and empty
And we’re mourning for the past
It’s a momentary temptation
That was never made to last
I don’t know when the votes are cast
But of one thing I am sure
You will be cured

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

Robert Frost Rag

The east coast is a woman The mid-west is a man And the west coast is the baby They will never understand And the south is where it Wants to be And America is hard to see California’s on the left And Maine is on the right Santa Fe stays up all day And Chicago goes all night Seattle’s full of coffee Boston’s full of beans And America is hard to see First they saw it offshore Then they took pictures from the moon They haven’t drawn it life-size But it’s gonna happen soon And you could watch ten years Of Court TV To know America is hard to see And I sing this from my vantage point Up here in the stars And all I see is empty spaces And cities full of cars I’d change it all but It’s not up to me Cos America is hard to see

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

I Just Wanna Talk

I don’t mind if you finish my sentences for me
Interrupt anytime, that’s ok too
If the alternative’s nothing, alright then ignore me
But I just wanna talk with you

Men and women look good with no clothes on
To a puritan, everything’s crude
But nothing’s nuder than language in union
And I just wanna talk with you

Forget the gossip, the rumour, the lies and the chatter
One day we’ll say something true
None of the rest will be used as evidence against us
And I just wanna talk to you
I just wanna talk......

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)

$55

I’m looking for those old familiar faces In the places I left behind All the Townsons, Barnes, and Staces And some good old friends of mine Because everyone is someone That I seem to recognize Must be the old familiar faces In their eyes I’m walking down these streets that have no signposts In a language that I know And I never will belong here And it’s clear that one day I’ll go But when I turn the corner There’s another memory Why don’t those old familiar faces Let me be I used to live a life without a present And no need to go back when But now I see the truth so clearly And I want it her back again She hosts the ghosts of people In the shadows all around Until the old familiar faces Fill this town Every day I feel the sun shine stronger On the dark side of my heart And people look like strangers now That I can’t tell apart So I smile and nod politely Like they’re friends that I once knew I’ve found those old familiar faces In you

Music and lyrics by John Wesley Harding (Plangent Visions Inc., ASCAP)